एक कथित “खुशी के विशेषज्ञ” के रूप में (मज़े के लिए खुशी पर विशेषज्ञ गूगल करने का प्रयास करें), मुझसे अक्सर यह पूछा जाता है कि मैंने जो किताबें और लेख पढ़े हैं और जिन पर लिखा है, उनसे मैंने क्या सीखा है। आप सभी आलसी लोगों के लिए, यहाँ संक्षिप्त संस्करण प्रस्तुत है 🙂

अधिकांश लोगों में शिक्षा और जीन के संयोजन के कारण खुशी का एक निश्चित स्तर होता है। यद्यपि परिस्थितियां उस स्तर को बदल सकती हैं, फिर भी हम आमतौर पर अपने औसत पर वापस आ जाते हैं।

इसके बावजूद, ऐसी 10 चीजें हैं जिन्हें करके आप अपनी खुशी के औसत स्तर को बेहतर बना सकते हैं। वे कृत्रिम लगते हैं, लेकिन वे काम करते हैं।

तो ये 10 बातें हैं:

1. आपके पास जो है उसके लिए आभारी रहें – भले ही आप सोचते हों कि आपके पास सब कुछ कितना भी बुरा है, लेकिन इस तथ्य से कि आप यह पढ़ रहे हैं, आप दुनिया की 95% आबादी से बेहतर स्थिति में हैं – यदि उससे भी अधिक नहीं। आप संभवतः स्वस्थ हैं और आपके पास अच्छे अवसर हैं। निम्नलिखित प्रयास करें: हर रात सोने से पहले उस दिन आपके साथ घटित हुई तीन अच्छी बातें लिख लें। यह कृत्रिम है लेकिन काम करता है। आप बेहतर नींद लेंगे और खुश रहेंगे।

2. आशावादी बनें . भले ही आप थोड़े भ्रमित हों, फिर भी आप अधिक खुशहाल जीवन जियेंगे। आशावाद आत्मविश्वास पैदा करता है।

3. कुछ घनिष्ठ एवं सार्थक मित्रता बनाए रखें । हम केवल उस सीमा तक ही अस्तित्व में हैं, जिस सीमा तक हम उन लोगों की नजरों में मौजूद हैं जिनकी हम परवाह करते हैं। परिचित बनाइये (आखिरकार हम मनुष्य सामाजिक प्राणी हैं)। अपने परिवार, मित्रों आदि के साथ गहरी मित्रता बनाने के लिए आवश्यक समय का निवेश करें।

4. अपना आवागमन न्यूनतम करें . यह आपके नियंत्रण से बाहर की बात है (यातायात, हड़ताल, आदि) और यह आपके निजी समय और/या काम से समय छीन सकती है। यदि आप यात्रा करते हैं, तो इसे अपनी रुचियों को पूरा करने के अवसर के रूप में उपयोग करें, उदाहरण के लिए एनपीआर सुनें, अर्थशास्त्री पढ़ें, कोई भाषा सीखें… गाना गाएं।

5. अपने शरीर को आवश्यक नींद दें : आप बेहतर कार्य करेंगे, बेहतर सोचेंगे, खुश रहेंगे। ध्यान दें: कुछ नींद संबंधी अध्ययनों से पता चलता है कि जब लोग हर सुबह एक ही समय पर जागते हैं तो वे बेहतर आराम महसूस करते हैं।

6. सपने और आकांक्षाएं रखें . यात्रा ही महत्वपूर्ण है, मंजिल नहीं। सपने दिशा प्रदान करते हैं. वे आपकी इच्छानुसार बड़े या छोटे हो सकते हैं। यदि आप उन्हें हासिल कर लें, तो नए हासिल करें।

7. पैसे को ख़ुशी से न भ्रमित करें . आम धारणा के विपरीत, हम निम्न जीवन स्तर को भी बहुत अच्छी तरह से अपना लेते हैं। हालाँकि, जैसे-जैसे हम अपने वर्तमान आराम के स्तर के अनुकूल होते जाते हैं, हम भौतिकवादी और अधिक जोखिम-विरोधी बन सकते हैं। पैसा पैनकेक की तरह है – एक पैनकेक का दसवां हिस्सा खाने से आप भूख से मर जाते हैं, लेकिन 4 या 5 पैनकेक खाने के बाद आपको और खाने की इच्छा नहीं होती।

8. प्यार पाएं – अपने पिल्लों, दोस्तों, परिवार और/या महत्वपूर्ण अन्य से।

9. खूब व्यायाम करें : इससे निकलने वाले एड्रेनालाईन, एंडोर्फिन और ओपिएट्स आपके लिए बहुत अच्छे हैं।

10. खूब सेक्स करें . आप अपनी अपेक्षा से अधिक समय तक खुश रहेंगे। खुशी संभोग काल से अगले दिन तक जारी रहती है।

एक अंतिम बात: आप सोच सकते हैं कि खुश रहने से आप मुस्कुराते हैं, लेकिन इसका विपरीत कारण भी है: मुस्कुराना आपको खुश करता है। बोटोक्स प्राप्त करने वाले व्यक्तियों ने आत्मसम्मान और खुशी में सुधार की रिपोर्ट की है। क्योंकि वे अवचेतन रूप से भी भौंहें नहीं सिकोड़ सकते, इसलिए दूसरे लोग उन्हें अलग तरह से देखते हैं और दवा के प्रभाव के बाद महीनों तक वे भौंहें सिकोड़ना भूल जाते हैं।

बस इतना ही 🙂 अब यह आपके हाथ में है, इसलिए आगे बढ़ें और खुश रहें!

I am a Daniel Auteuil fan in general, but this movie struck a chord. As a formerly (or is it merely recovering?) self centered, arrogant, harsh, introverted, shy and conservative person with few friends myself, I could understand the main character’s plight of not understanding the meaning of friendship.

Francois’ path to understanding friendship is both comic and tragic and his experience with Bruno is profoundly touching. Go watch the movie.

There is still a lot of innovation going on in this world. Take a look at this tool that resizes images on the fly, it’s awesome!

Over the past year, I blogged a few time about the importance of deliberate practice in achieving high performance (A Star is Made, A Star is Made – Part 2) and how one of the two types of geniuses are “experimental innovators” relentlessly working on a problem and ebbing at it through trial and error (What Kind of Genius are you?).

At a recent conference organized by the New Yorker, Malcolm Gladwell described the different types of geniuses. He suggested that given the complexities of the problems we face, stubborn and deliberate innovators who collaborate with others are much more likely to be the leading innovators of the 21st century.

His recounting of how Andrew Wiles solved Fermat’s last theorem was a case in point. It took Wiles years of work, collaboration with multiple mathematicians around the world and resulted in a 200 page proof.

As Gladwell points out, it takes about 10,000 hours of deliberate practice to become good at almost any activity. The good news is that you can become good at almost anything you set your mind to. The problem is that 10,000 hours of deliberate practice is about 10 years of practicing 3 hours a day.

He suggested that as a society, we are not giving people the right incentives. We often reward intelligence, but ignore stubbornness which is arguably more important.

He also points out how there are extreme differences in how individuals capitalize on their potential. If you take otherwise identical groups of white American and Chinese American – groups with the same IQ – 60% of white Americans end up in elite professions, while 78% of Chinese Americans end up in elite professions. In other words, the dominant ethnic group in this country does not do a good job at capitalizing on the potential of its members. We would have millions more people to throw at complex problems if we capitalized more effectively.

We focus on elite universities; but if future innovation is going to come from groups of stubborn smart people working together instead of the lone genius, then we should making sure schools like Penn State are good.

A few weeks ago I had the great pleasure of attending a small salon on ethics, spirituality and religion. I was humbled by the intelligence and insight of the attendees: public intellectuals, authors, a professor of religion, and numerous successful executives and entrepreneurs.

It was one of the few intellectual discussions I have attended where the atheists were balanced by an equal number of theists. A few brief presentations by keynote speakers included Girard’s explanation of religion (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ren%C3%A9_Girard), the taxonomy of the religious debate, and the relevance of religion in the 21st century.

By far the most heated debate surrounded one theologian’s question: “Is it ever ok to do evil for good purposes?” and its corollary — a debate on torture. Instinctively, most people in the audience were against ever committing an act of torture. However, they recognized that Neville Chamberlain’s appeasement of Hitler failed, and that the International Community could have limited genocide in Rwanda via the use of force. We would condone torture if the stakes are high enough, the outcome clear enough. In other words, most of us will “do evil” if we are sure it is “for good purpose,” such as saving a family member from imminent demise

As we tackled the theologian’s question on the merits of torture, we came to realize that our moral center is relative and highly dependent on the circumstances.

1. Framing & Ethics

If people are told: “There is an out of control train. It is about to run over 20 people. If you press this button, you divert the train and kill 1 person.” Most people press the button. If instead you say: “There is an out of control train. It is about to run over 20 people. If you push this 1 person in front of the train, you slow the train down enough to save the 20 people.” Most people do nothing. Yet the potential outcomes are identical in both cases.

2. Legality & Ethics

The definition of “torture” in international law differs from the definition of “torture” in domestic law,. Article 17 of the Third Geneva Convention states: “No physical or mental torture, nor any other form of coercion, may be inflicted on prisoners of war to secure from them information of any kind whatever. Prisoners of war who refuse to answer may not be threatened, insulted, or exposed to unpleasant or disadvantageous treatment of any kind.” The United States has adopted a more permissive definition of torture; it “must be equivalent in intensity to the pain accompanying serious physical injury, such as organ failure, impairment of bodily function, or even death.”

Perspective also influences the relevant ethics of torture. An individual may draw the conclusion that it is okay for them to do evil for good purposes. Simultaneously they may insist it is wrong for a society to legalize evil acts with a positive outcome. To illustrate, most individuals would engage in torture if they believed that the result would save family members from a certain demise. Yet a much small group would provide the government a carte blanche to institutionalize torture. Torture may be an example where personal ethics does not harmonize with a legal edict governing social conduct.

3. Efficacy

The most astute comment on the debate on torture came from one of the public intellectuals in the audience. He questioned whether the debate on torture should instead be a debate on efficacy rather than ethics.

He argued that we are uncomfortable with the use of torture because we are not convinced it works. We are not convinced the individuals we torture are guilty. We are not convinced that the people inflicting torture will necessarily extract information or instill fear. Moreover, even if we only torture guilty parties and effectively apply torture as an instrument, the very fact that we conduct torture publicly eviscerates our perceived respect for human rights and may actually be counterproductive to our long-term security.

Our ethical boundaries and beliefs were challenged. We left simultaneously enlightened and confused but at least having attempted to question the basis for our beliefs. And so the night ended.

I should start with a foreword. I have never owned a Mac or considered owning one. I got my first PC in the early 1980s and have been using them ever since. I never thought I would ever consider getting an Apple computer, but when Apple switched to Intel processors and then released Bootcamp, it became a possibility.

In general, I like notebook PCs with a 17” screen and 1920*1200 resolution to display more information, have more open windows and play games. The downside of notebooks with 17” screens is that they have a tendency to be heavy (10+ pounds with the AC adapter) and have short battery lives. When the MacBook Pros came out a year ago I considered getting one but the graphic card was way too underpowered for playing PC games and I settled for a Dell Inspiron 1705. When the Dell died (my notebooks die often as they get roughed up in all the travel I do), I ordered a Dell 1720 mid-June. However, Dell kept pushing the delivery date back. It was first delayed to July 17, then August 1 and then on August 1 they said the delivery would be in September. Annoyed, I cancelled the order and started looking for alternatives.

I looked at all the alternatives: Sony, Toshiba, Gateway, Alienware, but could not find a 17” notebook that had made any progress on weight and battery life. I am not even sure why I ended up looking at the Apple website, but was surprised to see that the new MacBook Pro 17” notebooks had Nvidia 8600M GT cards. I would have preferred an 8700 card, but the 8600 is good enough for most of the games I play. I ordered my first Apple. I got the high resolution glossy screen (most online reviews suggest glare is not an issue, in fact it might be better than their matte screen for glare) and 7,200 RPM hard drive. Two days later, the computer arrived.

Setting up Vista Home Premium was extremely easy. You download Bootcamp from Apple.com, install it, burn a CD of Apple drivers for Vista, install Vista and then run the CD that you burned. Everything worked perfectly. I installed Office, all my applications and games and it worked like a charm. With a 2.4Ghz Core 2 Duo processor, the 7,200 RPM drive and 2Gb of Ram, it’s very fast. At under 8 pounds, it’s the lightest and most stylish 17” notebook on the market. Battery life has also been impressive at over 2 hours of continuous use in Power Saver Mode (I could barely get 80 minutes on the Dell).

At first, the lack of right mouse click and the fact that many keys were not working as expected were annoying, but then I found Input Remapper. This software allows you to use fn + left mouse click to get a right mouse click and gives you all the traditional Windows keyboard functions: alt-F4, delete, etc. Ever since I installed it, the MacBook Pro has truly become the best Windows notebook I ever had! You can download Input Remapper at:

http://www.olofsson.info/index.html?inputremapper.html

Now I am hooked. It would not surprise me if all the future notebooks I get are made by Apple. Apple should really offer a Windows Vista pre-install option on its notebook. I heard the counter argument that it would allow for unfavorable side by side price comparisons with Dell, but I don’t buy it. Apple computers are more expensive than similarly powered PCs. Everyone knows it. My MacBook Pro cost 33% more than the equivalent Dell, but it does not matter. It’s stylish, light, well designed and I am willing to pay a premium for it. I am convinced they would sell millions of those if they had Vista and Office pre-install options.

Regardless, I am now a fan!

Mercadolibre

Mercadolibre is the Latin American eBay. It went public last Friday on the Nasdaq (Ticker: MELI) and the stock increased 58%. Its path to IPO is interesting.

While I was working at Aucland, a McKinsey friend of mine introduced me to a Latin American team of smart, passionate people looking to do something on the Internet. We decided to partner to conquer online auctions in Latin America. Deremate was born. As an aside, Alec Oxenford, my co-conspirator in OLX, was the heart and brains of the project and led Deremate from inception to its sale in November 2005. He is a witty, intelligent, worldly Argentine who spent his formative years at BCG and HBS.

Numerous companies launched at the same time to go after the Latin American online auction market, including Mercadolibre. As the best managed and funded companies, Mercadolibre and Deremate largely split the auction market in Latin America, except in Brazil where Mercadolibre was the clear leader. Interestingly enough, when eBay bought iBazar, Aucland’s largest competitor in Europe, they sold the Brazilian entity to Mercadolibre in exchange for a 20% stake in the company. It’s that transaction that made Mercadolibre so dominant in Brazil – arguably a transaction eBay should not have done given the value it created for Mercadolibre.

The Internet auction market is usually a winner take all business. If you are selling a unique good, you can only sell it on one site given the obligation to sell to the winning bidder if only to avoid a negative rating. Rapidly sellers flock to the site with the most buyers and vice versa. In Latin America, Deremate and Mercadolibre could not tilt the balance enough to become the clear leader. They exhausted their teams, venture capital money and limited their potential by competing on price.

La Nacion, one of Argentina’s leading papers, bought Deremate in November 2005 and sold most of it, except the Argentinean and Chilean operations, to Mercadolibre. The merger increased the liquidity for users, stopped the destructive competition and set the company on its path to IPO. This was a clear case of 1+1=10!

eBay

What is interesting is that at various points in the past few years, eBay could have bought either company, or both for much less than $100 million. Even after the merger was complete, it could have bought Mercadolibre for much less than $500 million. eBay management thought it was too high a price to pay. At the current market capitalization, it would cost at least $1.4 billion.

If I remember correctly, something similar happened with Paypal. eBay could have bought the company for much less than it ended up paying for it, but could not get comfortable with the valuation so they waited until Paypal went public. Paypal is the best acquisition eBay ever made, but they probably could have paid much less for it.

I would argue the same thing happened with QXL Ricardo. QXL Ricardo is the leading auction site in Poland and Switzerland. eBay could have bought it for less than $200 million a few years ago but is now worth over $1 billion. It’s also worth noting that QXL bought Aucland and the entire QXL platform runs on the Aucland technology.

Of course, hindsight is 20/20 – we now know those companies are successful. Nonetheless it seems that the benefits of acquiring the market leaders in yet undeveloped but relevant markets should have exceeded the potential costs.

Buenos Aires

That brief non-sequitur on eBay aside, I am happy to note that Buenos Aires is now emerging as a successful hub for running an Internet company. It’s only 1 hour ahead of New York from a time zone perspective. There is still a decent pool of available labor. Costs are low.

Google just setup an office there. Mercadolibre is run out of Buenos Aires. Hopefully this is a good augur for my two Buenos Aires based businesses: Dineromail and OLX.

Fingers crossed!

Threequels are usually not very good, but this movie is an exception. The Bourne Ultimatum is fun, smart, fast paced and thrilling from end to finish. I was not bored for a second!

The gritty hand to hand combat sequences are amazing and are so much more gripping than the over the top action in Die Hard 4. I liked Die Hard 4, but I loved Bourne!

The storyline also comes to a fitting end. I hope they only make a fourth if they find an amazing story. I also hope the next James Bond movie will continue down the gritty more “realistic” path.

It all started with an innocent question.

The conversation had a reached a point where it was perfectly logical to ask, “Are you Jewish?” Little did I expect the outpour of raw emotion that followed. My friend was brought up in an ultra-orthodox Jewish family on the East Coast. His anti-secular upbringing had become both the source of his rebellion and sadly, his father’s downfall.

Upon reading the auto-biographical account he had written, I was struck by the vivid passion that came through in his writing. His story was genuinely touching. Being the self- centered individual that I am, it reminded me of my own writings many years back – not in content but in the purity and strength of emotion.

This triggered a trip down memory lane. I re-read the letters I wrote to others and myself many years ago. For all its naiveté, the passionate expression of my love, longing and fear rendered me slightly nostalgic. When I was younger, I was terrified of social expectation, judgment, and harbored a fear of rejection. In part, such fears drove me into social isolation, and it was in that isolation that I developed true independence, which in turn led to greater creativity and drive. Did I lose something in the process of conquering those fears?

It’s amazing how much easier life is when one is older. We are more experienced, confident and financially independent and come to realize that most of the things we once feared do not actually matter. After all, if you approach a girl and get rejected, you have lost nothing. Yet it seemed such a risky and momentous step at the time.

My hunger and drive have in no way abated, but is that because of habituation? Maybe it’s just what I do and who I am. While I still feel a fire burning inside of me, it is a canalized and more logical form of passion. Arguably it’s the longing and need to succeed that have disappeared – the “je ne sais quoi”, “zazazu”, and butterflies that make the experience magical.

Is fear of rejection requisite to falling in love? I have loved, but have not been in love in years. Even when I consciously wanted to, the invisible protective barriers of my subconscious seemed to refuse it.

It might also be why most entrepreneurs are one hit wonders – young men in their twenties who no longer feel as much of a need to compete after they succeed. It is natural to become more risk averse once you have something to lose.

From this evolves another interesting paradox. When I was younger, in an attempt to be taken seriously by adults, I avoided behaving as a child. I was always studying, reading, deferring to authority and generally being shy and conservative. As I no longer fear disappointing others, I have become a lot more relaxed and playful. I have no qualms rolling in the mud with my puppies or admitting that I love video games, remote control boats and helicopters, paintball and games of all genres. I am arguably more of a kid today than I was then. Yet from the same process that allows me to be childlike came the loss of poetic longing and fear that have inspired so many throughout time.

Despite this, as I turn 33, my recently discovered youth leaves me hopeful about the future. My motivations are now self- driven and no longer dependant upon the approval of others so perhaps something greater has actually been gained. As for love, who knows, the discovery of quasi-childish innocence may yet retrigger those seemingly lost feelings.

Rest of my life: here I come!

I suppose like most of us, I am a little curious about my family history, but not enough to spend time or money researching it. That’s where Geni.com comes in.

Most of you probably know it, but just in case check it out. It’s a Wikipedia type site where members of your family fill in the genealogy tree. It’s only as good as the family memory, but that’s usually as good as it gets from an accuracy perspective.

The site is incredibly viral. I just filled in the name of a few relatives who are then invited to take a look at the tree and a few days later the tree had over 100 detailed entries.

I am not sure what business model they are going to implement, but as a user it’s a lot of fun to use and see your family tree grow with no effort.